Accidental Friends?

In my sister’s recent blog post the other day (Be Still And Know), she speaks of how wonderful it is to know that we are not alone, that God brings people together with certain gifts and anointings for just “such a time as this,” and uses each of us to meet the needs of others.  As I was reading that it reminded me of a children’s book by Dandi Mackall, “Made For A Purpose.”  The book is about a sad, lonely little girl who has been deeply hurt and disappointed and has shut herself away from the world, thinking she can be just fine by herself and has no need of friends.  She thinks she already knows what she wants to be when she grows up and just stays focused on that, keeping to herself. Through a series of “coincidences” she ends up meeting the need of a group of kids her age and, through their kindness and friendship, has her own need for love and acceptance met.  She discovers that she didn’t have to be alone, that God loved her and created her with a purpose.

                  It was God who had given her the dreams and ideas for her future.

There have been so many times when I’ve needed love, guidance, support .. and just when I didn’t know where to turn, someone came into my life who had just the right word, the right advice, a strong arm to hold me up when I needed it the most.

Accidental friendships …. or divine appointments?

I don’t want to always be on the receiving end of these appointments, do you?  As in my sister’s group of classmates, I want to be able to give as much, if not more, than I get.  There have been times when I knew I was the “giver.”  Other times … not so much.  But I have learned that we all have a contribution to make.  We can “bear one another’s burdens” and, have our own load lightened when we need it as well.  We’re not accidental friends … we were created and brought together for a purpose.

To love others and see their lives changed!

One thing I have learned is that God uses people to help people.  I believe in miracles ... but most miracles come in the form of someone fulfilling their purpose of reaching out and touching others. 

                            A box of groceries left on the front porch.

                            A nurse in the hospital hallway with a hug when the news is bad.

                            A Facebook “friend” with a word of encouragement.  

Someone needs a word … a prayer … a touch today.  You have that! I've discovered that when I'm reaching out to others with God’s love, I'm truly living life with Purpose and Joy!

If God Gives You a Jackass ....

NOTE:  For the ladies who immediately thought of their husbands ... contact me and we can work on that.  That's another whole ball game all together.


The other day as I was doing some reading, I came across a quote that completely took me aback ... and I just haven't been able to shake it.  It's like getting a song stuck in your head and it won't go away. 

 “If you’ve been praying for a Cadillac and God gives you a jackass .. ride it.”  (Unknown)

I had to read it a couple of times to get the full impact. How many sermons have we heard on delighting ourselves in the Lord and then He'll give us the desires of our heart?   It's in the Bible, "Take delight in the LORD, and He will give you your heart's desires." (Ps. 37:4 NLT) ... and I believe every word of it. 

So how in the world did I end up with this jackass?
   

There have been so many times when I've prayed, wished, hoped, and prayed some more for something that just didn't happen, or work out the way I wanted ... and then later looked back and saw that what I got was exactly what I really needed.  My husband will tell you that I definitely have Cadillac taste.  But sometimes a Cadillac is just not the answer ....

... not really the desire of my heart.

Sometimes, the Cadillac is the desire of my head ... my imagination ... my mental image of success.   When I examined the true "desires of my heart" I found that what I really desire is protection from predators - spiritual as well as physical, a calm spirit when fear comes knocking on my door, strength and stability to navigate the rocky hillsides that the path of life often takes me through.  Stopping to consider the qualities of the American jackass I found that these are some of the very attributes that make this animal of great value to the livestock owner.  They are fierce protectors of livestock .. wolves, coyotes, dogs and snakes don't stand a chance against a jack or jenny standing guard in the pasture.  They have a strong calming effect on nervous horses in the barn at night.  And when the need arises to pack a load over steep or rocky passages ... where do we turn?  That's right.

I believe our Father answers every prayer ... He wants us to have all the good things in this life.  I believe in coming boldly before His throne as His children and making our petitions known.  But I have found that sometimes the answer to my prayer is not what I asked for ... but always what I need. 

So ... If you've been asking God for a Cadillac and He gives you a jackass ... ride it!

It's That Time Again ...

You know what I mean .. it's time to write out that list of New Year's Resolutions.  Or, if you're like most of us, just pull out the one you wrote last year .. the copy of the one you wrote ten years ago. 
                        Can I get a witness?

Statistics tell us that the top two resolutions on American adults' lists each New Year's Eve are ... can you guess?

             Lose weight

                   Stop smoking

These are most commonly followed by "stop drinking," "exercise more," and "get out of debt."   After that, they become more individual.  And then, within about three weeks (oftentimes less), these resolutions have been broken so many times we give up and the list ends up in a drawer somewhere, abandoned    ...     but not forgotten.  We spend the next few weeks (or months) feeling guilty, weak, powerless ... and live out the rest of the year having made little or no change. 

How many of us don't even bother to make that list anymore?

My dear friend, Dr. Neecie Moore, teaches a seminar entitled, "Making and Keeping New Year's Resolutions That Will Change Your Life."  When I attended this seminar for the first time, I was challenged to give some serious thought to the changes I wanted to make in my life and then take the steps to be sure I would be successful. 

For the first time in my life I looked at my list of

New Year's Resolutions and knew I held the

power to make positive changes in my life!

We're about to step into the year 2012.  What are the three most important improvements you want to see in your life this year?  Write them down.  What will be the benefits if you make these changes?  Write them down.  What will it cost you if you don't make these changes in your life?  Write it down.  Ask yourself, for each of these resolutions, in order to be successful, what will I have to say "yes" to ... what will I have to say "no" to?    Write it down!

Now we have a plan of action.  And remember ... we have Help!  

 

"Now all glory to God who is able, through His mighty power at
 work within us, to accomplish infinitely
more than we might ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20 NLT). 

 

"Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:9 NLT). 

So let me challenge you to make ... and keep ... the resolutions that will propel you into a brand new year of living your life with purpose and joy!



Bah!  Humbug!

One night years ago while living in San Diego with my family, we drove through the neighborhoods enjoying the Christmas lights and decorations when .. in the middle of a brightly lit street filled with Santas, Nativity scenes, and giant snowmen we saw a house with one simple message carefully laid out  in lights on the well-manicured lawn:

BAH!  HUMBUG!

We were never quite sure if it was the homeowners' idea of a joke, or an expression of their true feelings during what most of us consider "the most wonderful time of the year."  

The truth is, if we're not careful to stay focused on the true meaning of Christmas, the shadow of Ebeneezer Scrooge can come slinking around the corners of our hearts and minds and sap the joy and wonder from some of us with even the strongest Christmas spirit.  You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who loves Christmas more than me.  In fact, I've instructed my family that no matter what time of year I make my entrance through the pearly gates, I want Christmas carols sung at my celebration service and a Christmas tree engraved on my headstone.  But I must admit that during our years of raising eight children there have been a few Christmases when old Mister Scrooge was able to blow his cold breath over my Christmas cheer:

The year my beloved grandfather died and I missed his Christmas Eve funeral to have Christmas with my family.

The year we lost our home and business in the oil-field crash ... and our kids found their old toys, cleaned up and supplied with new batteries, under a small Christmas tree given to us by someone who knew of our situation.

The year Dave got a serious infection and spent the month of December off work, in the hospital, then at home with visiting nurses and IV antibiotics.  The kids got IOUs in their stockings that Christmas.

Old Eb' came slinking around here those years (and there were a few others) but what I've found is that Christmas is a state of the heart. 

"Then the angel said unto them, Do not be afraid for I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11)

Great joy

Yes .. JOY!  It has nothing to do with gifts, financial stress, rudeness of department store clerks, crowds at the mall, or children who don't make it home for Christmas (blowing kisses to my sister).  So many things can rob us of our Christmas joy .. if we allow them. 

                                                   financial stress

                                                   health issues

                                                  broken relationships

                                                  loss of a loved one

 But the angel’s tidings of great joy was the announcement of the birth of a Savior … and He is still with us!  A personal relationship with Christ .. the Lord .. is the source of this joy!  And that is a joy that remains .. steady and unchanging.

This will be our first Christmas since the death of my mother & aunt in a car accident this year .. and I’ve seen Scrooge’s shadow a couple of times over my shoulder .. but he has to slink back to his hole when I begin singing my favorite Christmas carol …

JOY TO THE WORLD .. THE LORD HAS COME!

I HAVE NOTHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR

I pray this is not your mindset today.  But is there someone you know or know of who is discouraged, disappointed, sinking in despair while it seems everyone around them is counting their blessings?  As a Life Coach I see many people who are so burdened down with the circumstances of their life that they can't find anything to be thankful for ... they've lost their hope.

It's hard to be thankful with a broken heart...

with an empty wallet...

or sitting across from an empty chair at the table.

This year there will be two empty chairs at our table. Yes, I've shed some tears this week .. but I have also added to my "Things I'm Thankful For" list. 

I can be thankful because God has healed my broken heart ... and I know He's there to heal it if it breaks again.

He's provided for my every need when my wallet was empty. He is Jehovah Jireh - my Provider ... and I know His provision is unending.

He holds me close and whispers "Peace" when I weep over the empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table ... and my heart is assured that I will see my precious mother and aunt again.

There are so many, especially with the holidays approaching, who feel there is nothing in their life to be thankful for.  Who can you reach out to with a touch, a smile, a word of encouragement?  If we are truly thankful for what God has done for and given to us, why not "pay it forward" by offering hope to the hopeless, comfort to the brokenhearted, friendship to the lonely? 

And before you know it, you'll discover you're living life with Purpose and Joy! 

SINGING TO THE WALL

I've been reading Vikki Burke's new book, "Some Days You Dance" , and can hardly put it down.  In the first chapter she tells the story of her friend's little granddaughter who had always been so happy to sing and dance for anyone who asked .. most of the time she didn't even need to be asked to perform.  She was always glad to oblige with joyous abandon.  Then at a family gathering, her grandmother asked her to sing the newest song she had learned and the girl hung her head shyly and refused!  After much coaxing and pleading, she finally agreed to sing only for her grandmother, in another room away from the rest of the family.  In a room down the hall, with the door closed, she turned her back to her grandmother and, facing the wall, sang her song in a very soft voice.  At some point since the last family get-together, she had lost that freedom to just do what had always come so naturally for her .. to use the gifts and talents she had been given without worrying about making a mistake, or what others might think of her.  Meanwhile, in the other room, her three-year-old cousin was happily entertaining the family with her own God-given gifts in complete abandon.

This made me wonder ... when did I start singing to the wall?

What was it that stole my freedom to follow my natural inclination to sing .. to speak into the lives of others with confidence .. to teach .. to write .. to make a difference? 

I made a mistake.
I saw someone who was more accomplished than me.
Someone laughed at me.
Someone told me I couldn't do it ... and I believed them.

I'm a Life Coach, so I do speak into people's lives .. I minister .. I write (OK .. I'm not prolific but I'm working on that) .. I even sing .. I make a difference.  But not with the total abandon, confidence, joy and freedom that God intended when He created His plan for my life.

I've been singing to the wall. 

I have had to plow through past hurts, mistakes, disappointments and self-doubt .. all "weeds" that slowly choked out my joy, purpose and freedom .. but I'm learning to remind myself that,

 "..there is no accusing voice nagging those who are united to Jesus Christ,

that is those whose lives are directed by the Spirit

rather than by old attitudes and patterns"

(Romans 8:1 BCJ).

 

It's not been an overnight transformation .. it's taking hard work, determination and immersing myself in the Word to get rid of those "nagging voices" and "old attitudes and patterns."  It's a journey .. one that is teaching me to live my life with purpose and joy!

 

A SEASON OF THANKSGIVING

This is my favorite time of year. The big yellow school buses are back on the road, scarecrows & pumpkins sitting atop bales of hay adorn porches, and in the stores, there’s an odd mix of fierce looking black spiders, smiling pilgrims and somewhat frightened looking turkeys, and jolly old St. Nick sitting amidst cobwebs, cornucopias and Christmas wrapping paper.

                            I just love it!!

There’s a hint of Fall in the air …

A few dry leaves scamper playfully across the drive in response to a sudden wind burst…

After a summer of wearing flip-flops, I’m enjoying my new fuzzy socks.…

And here I sit by an open window with a mug of Hazelnut coffee, looking out at the early evening stars,  comforted by the lingering smell of my mother’s bath powder as I sit wrapped in her soft robe remembering this time last year …

Things will be very different this year without her -- but yes …

                          I still love it!

Halloween is behind us (especially those “fun size” Snickers we “shared” with the kids) and now I can focus on my list of what I am  thankful for this year.  Have you started your list?  It can be as detailed or as general as you want … but make your list.  Put it in a place where you’ll see it every day ..              

     add to it .. and watch it grow!

Maybe this will help you get started …

Who helped you through a difficult time this year?

Who or what brought joy into your life?

What wonderful new memory do you have?

What do you have that you could never put a price on?

How have you been able to bless others?

As you review the past year, in what areas have you grown?

As I contemplate my own answers to these questions, I can see that, even though this year has had some dark days, I still have so MUCH to be thankful for!

What’s on YOUR list?

                             Hugs and blessings,

                          Deb