Precious Memories ....

Memories .....

                        they can evoke powerful emotions .... good and bad.   As a life coach, I often help people process through painful memories of their past.  But many times reliving the good memories can bring healing to the spirit.  My sisters and I experienced this over the weekend while visiting with our 82-yr-old dad who now lives in a nursing home.  Having suffered several debilitating strokes and then the sudden accidental death of our mother last year, Dad is often confused and has difficulty speaking coherently most of the time.  But we do get glimpses of "Daddy" from time to time and we know he's still in there.  Often we'll bring pictures or try to talk about the "good old days" hoping to jog his memory and stimulate his senses enough to keep him communicating and able to relate to his surroundings.  On this last visit we began talking about the days when he traveled and sang with the southern gospel quartet, The Virginia Travelers, and how later my sisters and I sang back-up for him when he did his solos. 

Left to Right - Mitch Brown (Dad), Glenn Currier, Dave Rose, Jim Cook, Paul Secord at the piano

As we began singing, his countenance brightened and he began to sing along with us.  The tears began to flow as we realized he was singing harmony and remembered the words of the songs he sang so many years ago.  We could see he was reliving those wonderful days.  Soon we had staff and visitors

standing outside the door of our private little room listening in on our "jam session" with Dad.  No one but us knew that this precious elderly man had once traveled extensively singing in great concert halls as well as many churches and camps spreading the Good News in song and Christian entertainment for many years.  His beautiful natural tenor voice made him a favorite and there were many requests for his solo features such as "Oh What A Savior," "I've Been To Calvary," and "Sweet Jesus."  His voice is now weak, cracked, and often hard to hear ... but I believe the angels in Heaven stopped their singing that day to listen once again to Mitch Brown sing "What a Day That Will Be."

Mitch Brown 2012                                                            Mitch Brown 1962

Thank you, Dad, for living your life with great purpose and joy!

Left to Right - Margie, Debbi, Dad, Lena, Annette

My "Not To Do" List

Everyone who knows me very well at all knows that I'm a list person.  I have lists in my purse, lists in my car, lists made on scraps of paper lying around the house, and numerous journals and small notebooks with lists of everything that can be listed.  My husband, Dave, teases me about needing a list of my lists.  (Don't tell him ... but I  do have one!)   On any given day you'll find me working off of more than one To Do list.  I have a To Do list for today, one for this week, and one for "As Soon As I Can."

My lists are my friends.

 

They help keep me organized.

They help me be sure I get everything done.

They keep me from forgetting important dates and appointments (most of the time!)

But, lately, I've begun to realize that my lists do one other thing:

They keep me in a constant state of "I've got to ....."

I always have something to do.  My To Do list never gets completely done.  So what doesn't get done today will end up on tomorrow's list, making it longer - more likely not to be finished and, therefore, making the day after tomorrow's list even longer.  It's taken years, but I'm finally beginning to recognize a pattern here. I've been living my life with purpose ... missing out on a lot of the joy.  So ....

                                  

I've made another list.

My Not To Do List.   Things that I can scratch off of my To Do list.

1.  Getting the yard furniture I've just put together out of my living room and into the back yard where it belongs.   It's been raining for three days and still two more days of rain in the forecast. I can push the tables against the walls and at least have the room neat until the sun comes back out.

2.  Clean and vacuum the living room.   See #1.

3.  Straighten the playroom and clean the hall bathroom.   My grandchildren have been here every afternoon this week and will be here next week during Spring Break.  Scooping the toys into the toybox and freshening the bathroom will suffice until they get back to school. 

I can feel my stress levels coming down already.  Moving these items from my To Do list to my Not To Do list means I can enjoy a second cup of coffee with Dave on our only day together without focusing on what I "should" do as soon as I've swallowed the last drop. 

The laundry is done and that last load of towels can sit in the dryer until later.

I can finish this blog post (my To Do lists have kept me away for a month now) without being nagged by the need to sweep the kitchen floor.  It's not that bad and can wait until I'm in there fixing lunch for Dave.  

Dave and I can have lunch together without me jumping up to strip the bed linens ... as long as I get the bed changed before bedtime we're good. 

Everything on my Not To Do List will still have to be done.  They will end up on my To Do list again ... but not today.  I'm learning to find the balance between being driven and being lazy.  I stumbled across this scripture the other day in Ecclesiastes 2:22-23 (CEV) "What do we really gain from all of our hard work?  Our bodies ache during the day, and work is torture.  Then at night our thoughts are troubled."   (Probably from stressing over all the things we didn't get done!)  The writer goes on to say, "It just doesn't make sense!" (Ecclesiastes 2:24 CEV) This is not to say we should be haphazard ... I believe in hard work and excellence in all that we do.  But I've allowed the things on my To Do lists to interfere with my spiritual life.  My alone time with God has taken a backseat to things that I think I must do but that don't really satisfy my inner being. In  Isaiah 55:2-3 we find God saying, "Why work hard for something that doesn't satisfy? Listen carefully to Me and you will enjoy the very best foods.  Pay close attention!  Come close to Me and live." (CEV)  What a refreshing invitation!

My inner peace and satisfaction is increasing as I learn to live in the moment ... enjoying the limited alone time I have with my husband who works long hard hours to provide a comfortable living ....  relishing the time spent with my precious grandchildren .... cherishing every moment I have left with my elderly dad who now lives alone in a nursing home since the death of my mother last year.   And most of all, spending more time in His presence ... where my soul is refreshed and restored. 

So here I sit ... at His feet (with my lists still clutched tightly in my hand) trying to find the balance between the Mary and Martha in me.   To quote  Lisa Bevere,  "I'm sitting at the feet of Jesus ... but who's going to fix dinner?"   It's a learning curve ... but I'm making progress! 

Hugs and Blessings,

Deb