It's That Time Again ...

You know what I mean .. it's time to write out that list of New Year's Resolutions.  Or, if you're like most of us, just pull out the one you wrote last year .. the copy of the one you wrote ten years ago. 
                        Can I get a witness?

Statistics tell us that the top two resolutions on American adults' lists each New Year's Eve are ... can you guess?

             Lose weight

                   Stop smoking

These are most commonly followed by "stop drinking," "exercise more," and "get out of debt."   After that, they become more individual.  And then, within about three weeks (oftentimes less), these resolutions have been broken so many times we give up and the list ends up in a drawer somewhere, abandoned    ...     but not forgotten.  We spend the next few weeks (or months) feeling guilty, weak, powerless ... and live out the rest of the year having made little or no change. 

How many of us don't even bother to make that list anymore?

My dear friend, Dr. Neecie Moore, teaches a seminar entitled, "Making and Keeping New Year's Resolutions That Will Change Your Life."  When I attended this seminar for the first time, I was challenged to give some serious thought to the changes I wanted to make in my life and then take the steps to be sure I would be successful. 

For the first time in my life I looked at my list of

New Year's Resolutions and knew I held the

power to make positive changes in my life!

We're about to step into the year 2012.  What are the three most important improvements you want to see in your life this year?  Write them down.  What will be the benefits if you make these changes?  Write them down.  What will it cost you if you don't make these changes in your life?  Write it down.  Ask yourself, for each of these resolutions, in order to be successful, what will I have to say "yes" to ... what will I have to say "no" to?    Write it down!

Now we have a plan of action.  And remember ... we have Help!  

 

"Now all glory to God who is able, through His mighty power at
 work within us, to accomplish infinitely
more than we might ask or think." (Ephesians 3:20 NLT). 

 

"Commit your actions to the Lord, and your plans will succeed." (Proverbs 16:9 NLT). 

So let me challenge you to make ... and keep ... the resolutions that will propel you into a brand new year of living your life with purpose and joy!



Bah!  Humbug!

One night years ago while living in San Diego with my family, we drove through the neighborhoods enjoying the Christmas lights and decorations when .. in the middle of a brightly lit street filled with Santas, Nativity scenes, and giant snowmen we saw a house with one simple message carefully laid out  in lights on the well-manicured lawn:

BAH!  HUMBUG!

We were never quite sure if it was the homeowners' idea of a joke, or an expression of their true feelings during what most of us consider "the most wonderful time of the year."  

The truth is, if we're not careful to stay focused on the true meaning of Christmas, the shadow of Ebeneezer Scrooge can come slinking around the corners of our hearts and minds and sap the joy and wonder from some of us with even the strongest Christmas spirit.  You'd be hard pressed to find anyone who loves Christmas more than me.  In fact, I've instructed my family that no matter what time of year I make my entrance through the pearly gates, I want Christmas carols sung at my celebration service and a Christmas tree engraved on my headstone.  But I must admit that during our years of raising eight children there have been a few Christmases when old Mister Scrooge was able to blow his cold breath over my Christmas cheer:

The year my beloved grandfather died and I missed his Christmas Eve funeral to have Christmas with my family.

The year we lost our home and business in the oil-field crash ... and our kids found their old toys, cleaned up and supplied with new batteries, under a small Christmas tree given to us by someone who knew of our situation.

The year Dave got a serious infection and spent the month of December off work, in the hospital, then at home with visiting nurses and IV antibiotics.  The kids got IOUs in their stockings that Christmas.

Old Eb' came slinking around here those years (and there were a few others) but what I've found is that Christmas is a state of the heart. 

"Then the angel said unto them, Do not be afraid for I bring you tidings of great joy which will be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior who is Christ the Lord." (Luke 2:10-11)

Great joy

Yes .. JOY!  It has nothing to do with gifts, financial stress, rudeness of department store clerks, crowds at the mall, or children who don't make it home for Christmas (blowing kisses to my sister).  So many things can rob us of our Christmas joy .. if we allow them. 

                                                   financial stress

                                                   health issues

                                                  broken relationships

                                                  loss of a loved one

 But the angel’s tidings of great joy was the announcement of the birth of a Savior … and He is still with us!  A personal relationship with Christ .. the Lord .. is the source of this joy!  And that is a joy that remains .. steady and unchanging.

This will be our first Christmas since the death of my mother & aunt in a car accident this year .. and I’ve seen Scrooge’s shadow a couple of times over my shoulder .. but he has to slink back to his hole when I begin singing my favorite Christmas carol …

JOY TO THE WORLD .. THE LORD HAS COME!

I HAVE NOTHING TO BE THANKFUL FOR

I pray this is not your mindset today.  But is there someone you know or know of who is discouraged, disappointed, sinking in despair while it seems everyone around them is counting their blessings?  As a Life Coach I see many people who are so burdened down with the circumstances of their life that they can't find anything to be thankful for ... they've lost their hope.

It's hard to be thankful with a broken heart...

with an empty wallet...

or sitting across from an empty chair at the table.

This year there will be two empty chairs at our table. Yes, I've shed some tears this week .. but I have also added to my "Things I'm Thankful For" list. 

I can be thankful because God has healed my broken heart ... and I know He's there to heal it if it breaks again.

He's provided for my every need when my wallet was empty. He is Jehovah Jireh - my Provider ... and I know His provision is unending.

He holds me close and whispers "Peace" when I weep over the empty chairs at our Thanksgiving table ... and my heart is assured that I will see my precious mother and aunt again.

There are so many, especially with the holidays approaching, who feel there is nothing in their life to be thankful for.  Who can you reach out to with a touch, a smile, a word of encouragement?  If we are truly thankful for what God has done for and given to us, why not "pay it forward" by offering hope to the hopeless, comfort to the brokenhearted, friendship to the lonely? 

And before you know it, you'll discover you're living life with Purpose and Joy! 

SINGING TO THE WALL

I've been reading Vikki Burke's new book, "Some Days You Dance" , and can hardly put it down.  In the first chapter she tells the story of her friend's little granddaughter who had always been so happy to sing and dance for anyone who asked .. most of the time she didn't even need to be asked to perform.  She was always glad to oblige with joyous abandon.  Then at a family gathering, her grandmother asked her to sing the newest song she had learned and the girl hung her head shyly and refused!  After much coaxing and pleading, she finally agreed to sing only for her grandmother, in another room away from the rest of the family.  In a room down the hall, with the door closed, she turned her back to her grandmother and, facing the wall, sang her song in a very soft voice.  At some point since the last family get-together, she had lost that freedom to just do what had always come so naturally for her .. to use the gifts and talents she had been given without worrying about making a mistake, or what others might think of her.  Meanwhile, in the other room, her three-year-old cousin was happily entertaining the family with her own God-given gifts in complete abandon.

This made me wonder ... when did I start singing to the wall?

What was it that stole my freedom to follow my natural inclination to sing .. to speak into the lives of others with confidence .. to teach .. to write .. to make a difference? 

I made a mistake.
I saw someone who was more accomplished than me.
Someone laughed at me.
Someone told me I couldn't do it ... and I believed them.

I'm a Life Coach, so I do speak into people's lives .. I minister .. I write (OK .. I'm not prolific but I'm working on that) .. I even sing .. I make a difference.  But not with the total abandon, confidence, joy and freedom that God intended when He created His plan for my life.

I've been singing to the wall. 

I have had to plow through past hurts, mistakes, disappointments and self-doubt .. all "weeds" that slowly choked out my joy, purpose and freedom .. but I'm learning to remind myself that,

 "..there is no accusing voice nagging those who are united to Jesus Christ,

that is those whose lives are directed by the Spirit

rather than by old attitudes and patterns"

(Romans 8:1 BCJ).

 

It's not been an overnight transformation .. it's taking hard work, determination and immersing myself in the Word to get rid of those "nagging voices" and "old attitudes and patterns."  It's a journey .. one that is teaching me to live my life with purpose and joy!

 

A SEASON OF THANKSGIVING

This is my favorite time of year. The big yellow school buses are back on the road, scarecrows & pumpkins sitting atop bales of hay adorn porches, and in the stores, there’s an odd mix of fierce looking black spiders, smiling pilgrims and somewhat frightened looking turkeys, and jolly old St. Nick sitting amidst cobwebs, cornucopias and Christmas wrapping paper.

                            I just love it!!

There’s a hint of Fall in the air …

A few dry leaves scamper playfully across the drive in response to a sudden wind burst…

After a summer of wearing flip-flops, I’m enjoying my new fuzzy socks.…

And here I sit by an open window with a mug of Hazelnut coffee, looking out at the early evening stars,  comforted by the lingering smell of my mother’s bath powder as I sit wrapped in her soft robe remembering this time last year …

Things will be very different this year without her -- but yes …

                          I still love it!

Halloween is behind us (especially those “fun size” Snickers we “shared” with the kids) and now I can focus on my list of what I am  thankful for this year.  Have you started your list?  It can be as detailed or as general as you want … but make your list.  Put it in a place where you’ll see it every day ..              

     add to it .. and watch it grow!

Maybe this will help you get started …

Who helped you through a difficult time this year?

Who or what brought joy into your life?

What wonderful new memory do you have?

What do you have that you could never put a price on?

How have you been able to bless others?

As you review the past year, in what areas have you grown?

As I contemplate my own answers to these questions, I can see that, even though this year has had some dark days, I still have so MUCH to be thankful for!

What’s on YOUR list?

                             Hugs and blessings,

                          Deb

Where Is The Joy?

Last weekend I attended our family reunion .  It was a  wonderful time of fellowship, good food, laughter, picture taking, etc.  And, as always, so hard to say goodbye to those whom we will not see again until next year.   During the weekend as I visited with my loved ones and we shared pictures and stories of what was happening in our lives since we were last together, the emphasis was on the good times, happy events.  But I also knew that behind each smile there were memories of loss, disappointment, even tragedy. 

             And yet … the joy was there.

As I was thinking today about the difference between "joy" and "happiness" I began humming this little song from the late ‘60s .. "Happiness Is The Lord" by Ira Stanphil. The real nugget of truth is in the refrain... 

Real joy is mine, even when teardrops start.

I’ve found the secret, it’s Jesus in my heart!

(Ira Stanphil, 1968)

We’ve all cried tears of joy … at the birth of a baby, weddings, greeting loved ones after a prolonged absence.  But what about the tears we’ve shed in the face of tragedy, loss, disappointment, heartbreak?  Where is the joy in those moments? 
                                It’s there.

For those who do not have a relationship with the Lord, their happiness is derived from the circumstances they find themselves in at any given moment.  And they call it “joy.” But nothing can be compared to the deep, pure joy that only a personal relationship with God can give.  In Psalm 4, David finds himself in dire circumstances – His beloved son, Absalom, had led a rebellion against him, stolen his crown, and had driven David from the palace.  He was on the run and hiding in caves.  And yet, he penned …

You have filled my heart with greater joy than when their grain and new wine abound. I will lie down and sleep in peace, for You alone, O LORD, will make me dwell in safety. (Psalm 4:7-8)

Faced with the loss of his kingdom and, worse yet, betrayal by the son he loved more than life, David declared that his heart was filled with joy, then lay down to a peaceful sleep, secure in the knowledge that the Lord God, Himself, was watching over him.  Earlier in this Psalm, David wrote, “You have relieved me of my distress.”  The word “relieved” in that passage actually means “enlarged.”  David was acknowledging the growth of his relationship with the Lord in these times of distress. 

I have found that in some of my darkest moments, I have known the sweetness of His presence more than at any other times in my life.  It’s as if He is pulling me closer to Him, protecting me from the storm that is raging around me.  This is the pure, true joy that runs deep and still, even when “happiness” may be temporarily hidden from our view. 
                    
                                It’s there.             

                       

Dedicated to ...

My first entry as I’m getting my feet wet so to speak, will be to dedicate this venture to the three people who had the biggest impact in shaping who I would become …

        My parents, Mitch & Marjorie Brown

        And my dear Aunt Jo Newton, my mother’s
        only sibling.

It would be easy to say that my dad certainly lived out his life’s purpose.  He served his country in the Navy then later worked for many years for the federal government. He was a faithful and loving husband, a good provider for his family and an amazing father to his four little girls.  In addition, he traveled for many years as part of an evangelistic team, the Virginia Travelers, a southern gospel quartet. They traveled the east coast and southern states singing in concerts and holding church services every weekend.  Countless lives were touched and changed as a result of this ministry.   Today, he lives in a nursing home but .. did he achieve his life’s purpose? 

I’m thinking … yes.

My mother was a stay at home mother and housewife.  She never worked outside our home.  She kept house and raised four girls. She made nearly all of our clothes.  I was always so proud to wear my new dress to school that she had made for me.  Mom hated to cook .. but we always had delicious meals, including a hot breakfast every morning before leaving for school.  She was a Girl Scout leader, served in the Women’s ministry in every church we attended, and sang in the choirs.  When Dad began to show signs of Parkinson’s and his mental and physical health was declining, she took care of him.  When it became necessary to move him into a nursing facility, it broke her heart, but she was there every day of the week to spend the day with him and made sure he was clean, dressed neatly, and had the kinds of foods he loved.  She was his guardian angel .. or maybe guardian bulldog would be more accurate!  She never had a career, she never taught a class, never wrote a book.   Only close friends and family members ever knew her name.   Mom was 85 when she died unexpectedly in a car accident in January of this year.  Did she achieve her life’s purpose? 

Yes … she did. 

And Aunt Jo …  Everyone needs an Aunt Jo in their life.  Seven years older, she was Mom’s only sibling.  She had been a widow for nearly 30 years and never had children of her own.   My sisters and I were her kids … she was our second Mom.  She and Mom were so different.  Because she never had a family she worked all her life and retired as an accountant for the Naval Shipyard.  So she was very well-versed in money and business matters where Mom had always just waited for Dad to give her the “house allowance” each week.   Aunt Jo was hilariously funny which made it so much fun when she came to visit.  After we were grown and Uncle Charles had moved on to Heaven, Aunt Jo, Mom & Dad became the “three Muskateers. You never saw one without the other two close behind.   And she studied the Word.  It was nothing to find her in her robe at noon, sitting at the kitchen table poring over three or four Bible versions and whichever study book she was going through at the time.   She was the “go to” person for in-depth discussions of the Word and the goodness of God.  Aunt Jo was the Bible scholar of the three.  She was in the car accident with Mom, and died an hour later.  She never had a family of her own but she definitely left her fingerprints on the lives of my sisters and me, and our children.  She studied the Word intently, but we were her only audience.  So .. when she walked through those Pearly Gates … had she fulfilled her purpose?

Yes.

When I look at these three awesome yet ordinary, anointed yet flawed, gifted yet relatively unknown individuals, it is clear to me that they each had a God-given purpose for being here and they lived it out to the end.  The point I’m trying to make in this dedication is that God has given each of us certain strengths, talents, and desires and using those strengths, talents and desires will propel us toward fulfilling that purpose.  It may not be as simple today as it was for my parents’ generation … we have so many more opportunities, more choices, more doors to choose from.  But that just makes it more exciting.  One thing I’m sure of … we were designed to live our lives with purpose and joy!

Getting Started

For quite a few years now .. I’ve had this compelling urge to write.  It started out as a small tickle that could easily be brushed off, then it became more of a gentle tugging that I could put on a back burner and justify my reluctance with the busyness of raising a houseful of kids, homeschooling, working at my home-based transcription service, and serving in my church and community.   As the years flew by that gentle tugging gradually became more of a tug-of-war between me and what I’ve always recognized as the “still, small voice” of the Holy Spirit.  Then last weekend He brought out the “big guns” … my baby sister, ‘Lena.  Down from Seattle for our Sisters’ Retreat, she stayed over a couple of days with me and, as we sat at the kitchen table sharing our hearts, I told her about this inner battle I had been waging for years.   Within the hour she had this blog set up, had made a weekly schedule for my life to include writing and Bible study, and had her bags packed, waiting at the door for her trip home. 

Is that you, Mary Poppins?

So here I am … trying to find my way around this new (to me) world of blogging. 

I’ve named this blog “Purpose and Joy” because that is the theme or style of my life coaching approach.  Bottom line … no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in … good, bad, or somewhere in between … we each have a God-given purpose to fulfill and, in doing that, our lives can be filled with pure joy.   (There is a difference between joy and happiness .. but we’ll save that for a later discussion.)  We'll see how this all unfolds in the next week or two.  Please be patient with me as I learn how to navigate my way through settings, designs, templates and the like.  But together we'll discover how to live our lives with purpose and joy!  

                                 

Hugs and blessings,  

Deb